Hollywood Undead Gifts
by AwokenMonster
Summary: These are the HU gift one-shots I posted on AO3 for other authors. M rated for possible sex and violence. I don't own HU or their music.
1. Drowning

**Author's Note (Monster): Hello, our lovelies! I decided to post all exclusive AO3 one-shots on here so I'm sorry if you thought this was new material but if you haven't read it on AO3 yet, then you can now. I'm too busy to post stuff right now. I just got back on my feet after being sick for a week and I'm trying to put all of my energy into writing a one-shot called Distorted Connection which will be chaptered story length but crammed into a one-shot so yeah... it's gonna take a while to finish that one. How are you guys anyway? Enjoy!**

 ** _I wrote this one for MaybeCaboose with the summary:_**

 **drowning \ˈdrau̇-niŋ\  
** **verb**

 **To suffocate by submersion in water or another liquid.**

* * *

I was drowning.

All I could see or feel, was water.

There was no air. How would I ever be able to breath? I couldn't reach the surface in time. I wouldn't reach it in time even if I could've.

Because I missed something crucial. Something big. Something necessary.

Something I had to find to swim upwards in strong powerful movements of my arms and legs. My limbs burning as I'd soar out of the ocean that was my own mind… only to crash into a thick layer of ice.

A wall I could never protrude. Something that would always hold me back. Knocking on the ice, I asked to be released. No, I begged. I begged and desperately screamed for someone to free me, only to see a pair of feet appear above me.

It couldn't be.

It was…

* * *

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I punched the snooze button of my alarm, growling something unintelligible. I felt like rolling over in my bed and fall asleep again but I had to get up. These dreams haunted me at night. It was enough torture for one night.

I got up, stretched and yawned as I looked around in the empty room. Where did I put my stuff again? I couldn't tell. The room just seemed very empty and it was bothering me. Even my alarm clock wasn't there anymore. Crazy.

I put on the same clothes as the day before. Somehow, I kept wearing the same clothes repeatedly. Like it was all I had.

It was sunny outside. Such a nice weather. I couldn't wait to go outside and feel the sun on my face. As I did, the warmth hit me and I knew I could stay there forever but I had to go.

I had to meet up with a good friend of mine.

Charlie Scene.

At an old café, I found him waiting for me all by himself at a table. My stomach growled and I realized I hadn't even had breakfast yet.

"Charlie!" I called out cheerfully before flopping down in front of him. He offered me a smile as he said: "Hey, Danny!"

"It's such a beautiful day outside, don't you think?"

"It is. How are you today?"

"What a strange question to ask me, Charlie. I'm fine. Totally fine. How about you?", I chattered away as I was happy to be there with Charlie. He offered me a smile to tell me he was fine as well. Yet there was something else in his eyes as well. Pity? Maybe. But why?

He was all I needed to remain upright. The reason I could withstand the nightmares in which I was drowning.

"Do you still get those nightmares?" Charlie asked, face full of concern and I hated it. Why would he looked at me like that? I needed his reassuring smiles. Please, don't be like this, Charlie.

"I do", I admitted, bowing my head. "I'm getting closer to who's standing on top of the ice."

The bandana rapper sighed and leaned in. "I wish I could help you, Danny"

"You help me by being here for me, Charlie!"

"Where else would I be?" Charlie laughed and I couldn't help but join, enjoying each other's happiness while we had the chance. Days like these happened a lot lately. Only Charlie and me in the old café. Day after day. Every night the same nightmare.

Charlie's soft and sweet laughter died down and turned into a dead serious face before his voice changed completely and he asked: "Can you tell me something about Charlie's death?"

It felt like waking up out of a deep slumber when the words hit me. That vital piece of information. The crucial thing that kept me from reaching the surface. It felt like the ocean inside my mind just vaporized and I could finally think clearly again. _Charlie killed himself two years ago, by jumping off a cliff._

As I realized that simple fact, the sunny day changed into a sky filled with grey clouds and sorrow. A whirlwind hit the café, destroying the entire décor. Charlie was long gone and I was surrounded by sterile white walls, staring into the old face of doctor Charles, head psychiatrist of the Los Angeles asylum.

"What are you thinking about, Danny?"

"I was standing on top of the layer of ice all along."

* * *

 **Please Review, they're our heavy fuel!**


	2. May I?

**Author's Note (Monster): Hello, our lovelies! Yes, I'm posting again because I've got 7 more gifts to post and I'm working hard on Distorted Connection. I'm also working on Day 5 for How To Fall In Love In 7 Days. Anyway, replies to the review below. Enjoy!**

 _ **I posted this fic for xx-Chanour with the summary:**_

 **"Close your eyes."**  
 **"Danny, what are you…"**  
 **A finger covered his lips, followed by a sweet laugh. "It's a surprise, Charlie. Don't ruin it."**

* * *

"Close your eyes."

"Danny, what are you…"

A finger covered his lips, followed by a sweet laugh. "It's a surprise, Charlie. Don't ruin it."

The bandana rapper took a deep breath and couldn't help but smile as he closed his eyes. "I swear if you make me touch something dirty."

"Like what?"

"Like Funny Man's ass or something."

Danny cocked his head as he took Charlie's hand into his own. "Why would I make you feel his butt?"

"Because you're pranking me?" the rapper shrugged. The soft but firm hand into his own felt warm. Reassuring. Charlie took a deep breath but when Danny softly tugged his arm to make him follow, he pulled him back. "Wait."

The singer chuckled amused. "I won't make you run into a pole either!"

"Just checking", Charlie replied with a nervous smile. "Ok, let's go."

Danny let go of his hand and for a moment, he felt lost. Unsure if it all was a joke or he just didn't feel like going anymore. "Danny?"

Soon he felt the older man near. "Don't be nervous."

Charlie grit his teeth. "I just don't like surprises. You know that."

"I do but I promise you'll like it", Danny whispered before he took him by his hand and guided him to their destination. "No peeking, Jordon."

Charlie sighed. "It must be important if you call me Jordon?"

"It is important. I worked really hard to – watch your step, please – give you this."

The rapper lifted his foot to avoid the small step that could make him trip and appreciated the other for warning him. Johnny would've let him stumble and fall. Then proceed to laugh while he'd scream: "Not so funny when it happens to you, is it?!"

He chuckled at the thought and Danny enjoyed the light sound of his laughter. It was such a genuine sound. So soft and sweet. He wanted to close his eyes and listen to his laughter all day.

"Are we there yet?"

"Charlie!"

"Sorry."

They rounded a corner, a door opened. Charlie had to walk upstairs and there he felt the wind blow through his hair. Were they up in the sky?

"Open your eyes", Danny whispered close to his ear. The rapper opened his eyes and sure enough, they found themselves on the roof of an apartment but it was decorated with bright coloured lights, a disco ball scattering a white light into moving dots across the roof and a screen projecting a beautiful city view to hide away the grim streets of the neighbourhood in Los Angeles. In the middle, there was a table with two seats and candles. Next to it stood J-Dog in a neat costume. How did he manage to get J-Dog all dressed up for this surprise?

"Danny, what's this all about?"

The singer felt a little nervous. "You told me how no one ever noticed you back in high school. How no one ever asked you out or anything."

Charlie hesitated. "Yeah?"

"How you missed prom because of it while my prom was the best night I ever had."

J-Dog stepped towards a radio on the floor and pressed the button, music from way back playing. Back in high school those songs were popular enough to play. To play at a dance. Charlie swallowed his pride. "What's your point?"

Danny got on one knee. "Will you go to prom with me?"

The bandana rapper choked out a laugh. "Danny…"

"Just say yes", Danny asked, taking his hand into his again.

"Yes, but I'm so underdressed."

"Would you really have dressed up for prom back then?" Danny grinned and Charlie shook his head. "I didn't even have a costume like that back then."

J-Dog stepped up to them. "I suppose you'd like to have a romantic dinner first."

"Yes", Charlie replied as their friend guided them to the table and helped them in their seat. He handed both of them a menu much to Charlie's surprise. He frowned, opened the card but all it said, was:

"HAMBURGERS, I AINT COOKING FOR YOU LOVEBIRDS!"

That was J-Dog's way of saying 'fuck off' alright. He chuckled and closed the menu again, staring at the glowing face of Danny by candlelight. Somehow it made him feel warm inside. "I can't believe you went through the trouble of asking me out to prom."

"I know. I'm sappy", Danny chuckled, receiving their hamburgers from Burger King and eating it like it was the best thing they ever had.

When both finished their meal, Danny got up. He said something to J-Dog but Charlie had no idea what. Their friend soon walked up to the radio and switched the song to something a lot slower. Danny stuck out his hand as he bowed slightly. "May I have this dance?"

"I don't dance, Danny", Charlie said but when the singer frowned, he took the hand. "Fine, but I'm warning you. I can't dance at all."

Danny wrapped his arms around Charlie and the two just stepped in circles together as the singer laughed: "Neither can I."

"You fucking moron", Charlie laughed but they kept walking in circles against one another. It still felt like a great night but when the song switched to something a lot faster, Charlie felt lost for a moment until Danny stuck out both hands. "You have to hold both my hands and let me lead you. Do you trust me?"

Charlie nodded, taking both hands and before he knew it, the singer spun him around and underneath their arms. He couldn't even process which way he was spinning until he found his back against Danny's front. "Dude! You CAN dance!"

"I can't dance to slow songs but I know how to swing."

"Swing?"

"It's a type of dance. My ex-girlfriend made me take classes with her."

"You're good at it then", Charlie chuckled. "If you can make me dance, you must be special."

"I was hoping I'd be special to you", Danny replied as he spun him back around, flush against his chest. He let go of his hands and wrapped his arms around his hips. He dipped his head down a little to kiss Charlie who didn't refuse at all. He closed his eyes, enjoyed the warm lips against his own. As they parted he chuckled. "Best prom night ever."

"I know, right? It's a lot better than my last prom night", Danny agreed as they continued to dance together in awkward movements but they didn't mind at all as they stared into each other's eyes.

"Our deal is ending in 20 minutes, Danny!" J-Dog interrupted the moment but Danny only looked at Charlie with a soft smile. Well… Maybe he could stay there a little longer than Danny payed him for.

* * *

 **Please Review, they're our heavy fuel!**

 **HU4LIFEBITCHES: Poor you for not being able to get tattoos! I've got three already and I'm planning my fourth. I hadn't seen Johnny's tattoo yet but now I have and it's great artwork but I don't like the placement. Face, head, neck, dick, butt and feet are forbidden spots for me... I just don't like them there but his choice. I liked his hair when it was short and curly.**


	3. Dance With Me

**Author's Note (Monster): Hello, our lovelies! This AO3 gift is a crackfic... like... Seriously. Don't be surprised when you read that ending, I warned you. Reply to the review below, enjoy!**

* * *

 _ **I wrote this gift for xx-Chanour with the summary: At Charlie and Randi's wedding, J-Dog finally asks Danny to dance.**_

"I can't believe you cried when Randi appeared through the doors", Funny Man laughed, punching his best friend playfully in the shoulder. Charlie raised an eyebrow, reaching around his arm to cover the bruise forming on his arm. "Dude! I did NOT cry when she walked in!"

"You cried at Johnny's speech though", Danny murmured, sipping his red wine with a sneaky smile as he said it. Johnny lifted his head at the mention of his name. "He did?!"

"Fine! I fucking had some tears in my eyes when you started giving your speech on how you were ready to give up being my boyfriend for her to be my wife. I couldn't handle it when you got deep after that either", Charlie burst out, folding his arms insulted as they were mocking him on the best day of his life.

After the ceremony, they were all appointed to a table, his beautiful wife sitting right next to him as his main table existed out of family members and his best friends of Hollywood Undead. Just for shits and giggles, Charlie put Da Kurlzz at the table of his drunk cousins. The drummer had frowned and reacted annoyed but Charlie just couldn't help but tease him. After all, it would only last until they finished dinner. Randi had chosen for them to first enjoy dinner and then have their first dance before everyone could get on the dancefloor for the rest of the night. Charlie simply agreed. All he could do, was stare at her with a loving gaze. The same gaze J-Dog held for a certain person in particular. He knew it was a longshot and he knew he wasn't being secretive when it came to staring lovingly at the other, but somehow Danny never even noticed.

Well, he noticed Jay's eyes on him and he'd smile every time but he never knew just how deep his emotions ran for the singer. Did he?

As Randi had chosen most of the things for their wedding, Charlie merely agreeing because he wanted to see her happy, it turned out that dinner did NOT mean "Taco Bell" but rather something very sophisticated to the point that Funny Man was poking it with his knife, making faces. "The hell is this?"

"Salmon eggs", Charlie replied, hiding a grin as he awaited the reaction when the guys put a spoon full of it into their mouth, soon staring wide-eyed at Charlie as they almost spit it out. "Dude! That's fucking salty!"

"I know", Charlie laughed. "I didn't pick it!"

"I did", Randi replied. "But I remember your reaction to the taste wasn't very positive either."

Charlie's laughter died down, face red as he ducked his head. "Oh yeah… right."

He turned his head to look at Da Kurlzz at the other table who wore a deadly scowl as one of his drunk cousins heavily leaned on him while telling a story. His eyes met Charlie's, striking him down on the spot.

Maybe he took his teasing a tiny bit too far. He knew for sure he'd have to hear it for the rest of his life that he put Matty on a different table at his wedding. Now he'd do the same at his wedding!

If he could keep a girlfriend for once, Charlie bitterly thought, smirking at his own salty comment. As they finished the meals, dessert was served. There was something there for everyone and Charlie made sure to get a piece of everything. Just like Jay who happened to walk away with the last piece of chocolate cake.

"Hey! I wanted some chocolate cake!" Danny complained, frowning at the empty plate as Jay walked away with the final piece. The gas masked rapper turned around to Danny. "I'll share. Come on."

"Jay sharing food?!" Johnny expressed surprised. "Are you an angel?!" he asked Danny who chuckled. "I must be."

"Jay never shares food. He dropped a fry once and stabbed me in the hand with his fork because I tried to eat it", Funny Man said, subconsciously rubbing over a scar on his hand. "Fucking violent eater."

Jay rolled his eyes. "I share with Danny because he doesn't try to steal my food."

"More like because you wanna tap that ass", Johnny murmured to Funny Man earning some laughter and making Jay look agitated at the two of them. "Shut up!"

"What was that about?" Danny asked, the three men looking guilty but refusing to tell him. Charlie rolled his eyes at them, enjoying his dessert way more than he should. "I love you."

"I love you too", Randi said, looking disgusted when she realized he was talking to his dessert. He looked caught as he turned his head to the side. "Yeah… I was talking to you."

"You weren't."

"I wasn't."

As the others took a seat, J-Dog kept his word and cut the chocolate cake in half, offering Danny the other half. The singer flashed him a toothy smile as he accepted the piece. He seemed happier than a kid in a toy store. It was so cute. … In a … totally friendly way of course. Yeah.

Like hell it was. Jay moulded over the possibility of Danny liking him back. He had been wondering about it for years. Three to be precise. The singer just made his way into his heart, making a nest and making sure he was there to stay. How could he ever get out of this alive? He had no idea.

After dessert, Charlie and Randi shared a dance. The guys managed to stay put rather than yell or whistle at them. This was their moment. Let them have it.

As soon as it ended, a few more dances came up with parents and everything was going very well. People were asked on the dancefloor, immediately filling up the spots. Jay and Johnny were the only ones of the band left sitting. Charlie made his way over to them, planning on asking why they weren't dancing but Johnny got up as soon as he arrived there. Charlie cocked his head at Jay who seemed to stare off into space. He took a seat next to him, following his gaze and finding the subject of his thoughts. "Danny? You really like him, don't you?"

"I love him. I can't deny it."

"You should ask him to dance."

"I can't. I can't just walk up to him like that."

"Try. Or live your life in ignorance. Your call", Charlie told him as he got up again to join the party.

Jay let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes in concentration but when he opened them again, Danny was sitting next to him on a chair. "Not a dancing type?"

"Not a dancing type", Jay endorsed.

"Too bad", Danny smiled to himself. "I'll just keep you company then."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to sit by yourself", Danny replied.

The Italian man got on his feet. "I changed my mind", he murmured, looking at the man out of the corner of his eyes. He stuck out a hand. "Would you like to dance with me?"

"I thought you'd never ask", Danny grinned, taking the hand he was offered and letting the man guide him to the dancefloor.

As the music played, the two men twirled each other around, hand reaching to the other to flip them in a fast footwork dance, a figure bitterly watched them. Enjoy each other, he thought, it won't last. The man got up, made a twirl and landed in between the two men, breaking their hands apart. He never stopped turning as he took both their hands, spun them around and shoved Danny to Funny Man and Jay to Johnny. Danny collapsed on the Mexican, both falling to the floor with a satisfying thud. Jay crashed into Johnny, sending them both flying while complaining loudly. With the four men down, Monster stood in the middle, hands proudly in his hips as he said: "Back to your respective OTP's, guys"  
The fireworks behind his back kicked in, lions roared, the non-existent audience clapped.

"I fucking hate J-Danny", Monster finished.

* * *

 **Please Review, they're our heavy fuel!**

 **HU4LIFEBITCHES: Well now I feel bad about never getting to meet them in my life though... I wish I could just be a happy fan, greet them and take pictures with them. Channy is fucking life.**


	4. The Safest Choice

**Author's Note (Monster): Hello, our lovelies! I'm sorry for my irregular patterns of posting stuff but I uploaded a one-shot to AO3 in the weekend and forgot to add a gift on this site as well so this is actually my weekend update. I'm trying to return to weekly updates. Mind the word "TRYING" but I think I might actually succeed this time. How have you been? Replies to the reviews below, enjoy!**

 **I uploaded this one-shot as a gift for AiriaMurillo with the summary:**

 **Danny cocked his head. "Have you ever felt this hurt before?"**

 **"I have. On multiple occasions; not knowing what to do with myself because I was stuck at the decision to wait and see if time would spontaneously turn back for me to fix it all."**

* * *

There's always been something about hugs. Something special and something really intimate, yet not sexual. It wasn't exclusively for lovers but for friends as well. I never really enjoyed hugging my friends that much, it was mainly just arms wrapped around their shoulder and one hooked underneath their arm, a pat on the back and it's done, over.

Though the best hugs weren't like that. The best of them were with a smaller person who'd wrap their arms all around your waist and you'd get to put your arms around their shoulders, just dragging them flush against your body and feeling the closeness of two bodies trying to become one. It was almost as good as sex.

Almost.

I grinned to myself as thought struck me, pen tapping impatiently against my lips. What was I trying to write again? Oh right, I had to come up with fitting lines for that part of the song. It was a lovely song, a bit of a backstabber to those who didn't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend but it was a nice lovesong to me. Not that I had a partner but I could appreciate true love, even while single.

The skeleton of the song was brought forward by Danny who seemed awfully shy about it as he had slowly offered some of his lyrics and ideas for a melody. In the end, it was a great idea and for once, we were happy about having a love-struck couple aboard.

Of course, Danny only brought lyrics for a song all about love forward after getting a few words of reassurance from his boyfriend. I didn't think he would've had the guts to do it all by himself. The reassuring boyfriend being Charlie Scene of course. My best friend was the one who comforted Danny whenever he felt left out, too new or just too shy to say something. He was such a living contradictory sometimes. One day he'd be all shy and melting girls' hearts and the next he'd be drinking with us and trying to drink me underneath the table. Though I was a heavy drinker so he'd always end up shitfaced on the floor.

Adorable guy, I thought to myself as the pen never even left my lip. The lyrics weren't flowing today, yet my thoughts were on a roll. I finally moved the pen when the doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting anyone so it struck me as an odd thing for someone to be standing at my doorstep. When I opened it, I saw the face of Danny, the subject of my thoughts.

"Danny! I didn't know you were coming by."

"I just felt like it", the singer responded. "Went through the entire list of people in my head and you just seemed like the safest choice."

"The safest choice?" I muttered as he passed me by in the hallway towards the living room. He quit walking when he saw a sheet of paper on my table. "Were you writing a song?"

"I was writing my lyrics to the new song you came up with", I said and Danny seemed to turn bitter at my words, suddenly cold as he turned to me. "The song's not happening. I'm not doing it. The idea's in the trash", he harshly stated as he stared at the ideas I scribbled down on the sheet. He scoffed and put it down against, mindlessly twirling the pen in between his fingers.

"What? Why?"

He stopped twirling the pen to look up at me. "He hasn't said anything yet?"

"Who? About what?"

Danny put the pen down again. "Charlie broke up with me."

"What? Why?" I responded and Danny shrugged. "I don't know. He just did."

The singer looked down at the floor, arms tightly wrapped around himself as if he was trying to protect himself from my judging gaze but I wasn't going to judge him over a break up with my best friend.

I spread my arms. "Come here."

He looked up at me, hesitant but stepping closer to lean his head against my chest, arms still wrapped around himself stubbornly as I hugged him. "I'm sure it's not your fault."

"Don't say that."

"What?"

"I feel guilty. It's my fault we weren't doing fine. I messed up."

I sighed. "I'm sure you didn't. I can't imagine what you would've done wrong."

"I was clingy when we'd tour but whenever we were alone, I'd push him away. I don't know and I don't really wanna talk about it. At least, I don't know how to talk about it but I guess I was having some issues with my body? Or trusting him? I don't know, I'm telling you", Danny murmured into my shoulder.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm scared of bottoming, Johnny", Danny muttered. "I feel stupid for saying this because surely, Charlie would know what to do and how to be gentle and prepare me but at the same time, I don't wanna give up control over my body. It's not like we didn't… do things like that yet but it's just different. I can't explain it but it creeps me out and I tried to avoid being alone with him to make sure he wouldn't bring it up or try it but in the end, I only pushed him away. I wasn't solving anything."

"What did he say? I mean, did he just tell you he wanted to break up?" I asked, still confused whether this was on Charlie or if Danny's been a bad boyfriend. The singer shrugged. "He asked me if he could come over and then he told me I wasn't gonna like whatever he had to say. Then he just said he didn't want to be with me anymore. I don't even know if that means I've been a bad boyfriend or if he just doesn't love me anymore. I think I've just been a bad boyfriend."

I rubbed his back softly. "I don't know what to say."

"Just tell me he can eat a dick and die", Danny said and I chuckled but when he glared at me, I turned serious. "You hate him now?"

"No, I love him so much", Danny moaned annoyed. "And this is getting uncomfortable. Sit on the couch, please."

I sat down, patting the seat next to me before he sat down and leaned against me, my arm trapped. "I don't know what to do. I'm gonna see him 24/7 now, while it's over."

"You knew from the start it was a possibility. Just because it's over, doesn't mean you have to hate him. I know it hurts and I know you still love him but right now, you need to realize you can't be friends with him right now. It wouldn't work and you'd just end up fighting and breaking your friendship. You guys should leave each other alone and move on by yourself. When you're able to stand and say "I'm over it", you can try and be friends with him."

"Easy for you to say. You don't know what it's like to love someone who's not into you."

"You don't know that", I shot back at him and Danny looked up at me, eyes curious but now wasn't the time to tell that story. It was too long and too painful. Even worse; still going on but I didn't want to share a surprise with him that could turn his world upside down. For now, I wanted him to heal and to know I'd be there for him whenever he needed it.

"I'm not telling you that story", I said when he was still looking at me and he rolled his eyes. "Fine. Maybe you know my pain but I still have so many questions. I never asked him why! I just nodded and he left."

I took out my phone, sending Charlie a quick text when Danny glanced at my phone. "Are you seriously texting him right now?!"

"I am. You want answers, I'll give you answers", I said and the singer pouted. "Don't make it obvious, alright? I don't want him to think I'm needy."

"Danny, you guys broke up", I said and the singer gave me an angry stare. He pulled my right arm over his head so he could sink into my side as I had my arm around his smaller body. "What? I want some comfort."

"I didn't say anything!" I called out but Danny squinted his eyes. "You were going to."

"No, really, I don't fucking care if you need a hug or a cuddle. You're allowed to ask for all of it to anyone except to Charlie because he's not good for you right now."

"I don't want what's good for me. I want him", Danny venomously said and I was tempted to retract my arm until he'd show better behaviour but then I remembered he was just a sad, heartbroken man and I decided against it.

Charlie actually replied a few times by then.

 _Me: Dude, did you guys break up?_

 _Charlie: Yeah, this afternoon, why? What do you care?_

 _Me: Salty much? Just asking. Why'd you break up?_

 _Charlie: Just wasn't working out for me. Sorry, yeah, I just feel like crap and I don't feel like talking about it that much… Maybe I do, I don't know. Shit just hurts. Call me?_

"Oh crap, he's asking me to call him", I said and Danny shrugged. "Call him. I don't mind. I'll be quiet for your sake. Put him on speaker?"

"I don't know, that feels like betraying my best friend."

"Pleaaase?" Danny asked, batting his eyelashes and I sighed. "Fuck you and your adorableness."

Danny chuckled, first time he actually laughed since he got here. I called Charlie up and put him on speaker, hoping he wouldn't notice Danny's presence if the younger one were to make a small sound.

"Hey."

"Hey, Johnny", he replied, sounding worn out.

"How are you doing?"

"Shitty. It's not because I ended it, that I won't feel bad, you know?"

"Yeah. But I don't get it? Why'd you break up? Don't you love him?"

"Of course, I fucking love him, Johnny but I can't picture a future with him right now. We've been going awry for a pretty long time and he knows it too but Danny's got way more energy left than I do. I've tried to fix us for a while now but he just won't talk to me about the shit bothering him. It's always 'I'm just tired' or 'I don't wanna talk about it'. What am I supposed to make of that? I'm just out of energy to try and start again. I'm done."

I looked at Danny who hid his face in my side, trying not to make a sound as he was shaking, probably sobbing into my shirt as he had to hear his ex-boyfriend talk about how terrible he was as a boyfriend. It must be hard on him.

"But you still love him? Won't you get back together with him after a while then?"

"I just don't see us working out anymore. I'm not changing my mind. I'm done with him. He didn't even react when I broke up with him."

"Maybe he was shocked?"

"I don't really care. I wish him the best of luck but it's over", Charlie said and as soon as he had spoken the words, Danny walked out of the room, into my hallway. I wanted to run after him but I was on the phone so I couldn't.

"I gotta go, dude. I was making dinner and it's not easy trying to cook while calling", I lied. "Too bad you guys didn't work out."

"Yeah, talk to you later", Charlie said before hanging up. I slipped it into my pocket before making my way over to the hallway. The door was closed but I didn't feel like Danny ran out of my house. If he didn't want my presence, he wouldn't have come to me in the first place.

I was the safest choice for him.

The words slowly sunk into me. Funny Man wasn't serious enough to talk about this crap, Da Kurlzz was Charlie's ex-boyfriend and would only chase Danny away. J-Dog wasn't very keen on the relationships developing aboard the bus. I really was the safest choice. He saw no threat in trusting me.

How pathetic to trust someone like me.

I shook the thought off as I walked upstairs. "Danny?"

No reply but I didn't really expect him to talk to me anyway. In the end, I found him sitting in the corner of my own bedroom, trying to sink into the darkness of the walls surrounding him. It was getting pretty dark outside. "Danny…"

"I knew it. I was a terrible boyfriend and I should've talked to him but now it's too late. I can't get him back. I can't undo anything. I don't even wanna talk about it anymore."

I sat down next to him, knees drawn up loosely and resting my elbows on them. "So what do you want to do?"

"I don't want to do anything. I just want him back."

"But you can't have him back", I said. He leaned his head against my shoulder. "I know. I'm sorry to be such a wreckage."

"It's fine. You're not that bad", I chuckled and he inhaled deeply. "You should be happy you don't feel the pain of a break up like this, Johnny."

"I am but I still feel bad for you", I replied.

Danny cocked his head. "Have you ever felt this hurt before?"

"I have. On multiple occasions; not knowing what to do with myself because I was stuck at the decision to wait and see if time would spontaneously turn back for me to fix it all."

"How'd you fix it?"

"I didn't. I learned to live with it", I said and I offered him a smile. He smiled back at me and closed his eyes for a moment, sighing in peace. "Can I stay for the night? I don't feel like going home and be alone."

"You can", I replied. "Guest bedroom though."

"Don't be such a prude, I won't jump you in your sleep!"

I shrugged. "Not you I'm afraid of."

 _It's hard not to take advantage of a weak soul practically offering himself._ I closed my eyes and let out heavy sigh. "You wanna watch a movie?"

"Which movie?" Danny suspiciously reacted, holding on to my arm like it was his new lifeline.

"A cheesy rom-com", I sarcastically replied, watching his eyes go wide before laughing. "Fuck no, Danny, I won't make you sit through that kind of crap. Let's watch some stupid sci-fi movie. With lasers, robots, dinosaurs and what not!"

"Jurassic World?"

"Does that movie have robots in it?"

"Not sure? It's been a long time since I've seen it."

I got up and offered him a hand. "Then let's watch Jurassic World!"

He smiled and pulled himself up. "I bet for 10 bucks there will be robots in it."

"That's unfair. You've already seen the movie. You might as well play dumb and pretend you can't remember if there were any in it."

"I'm allowed to be unreasonable", Danny chuckled. "You better have some crisps in the cupboard, Johnny. I can't watch a movie without a snack and a drink."

"Make yourself at home", I sarcastically remarked when he opened the cupboard to find whatever he was looking for. He stuck out his tongue and continued to search for the crisps.

Maybe I couldn't talk about it all with Danny yet but I sure made him smile and laugh again for now. Maybe it wasn't enough but it was good enough for now. I'd take care of him and I wouldn't let anyone hurt him again.

* * *

 **Please Review, they're our heavy fuel!**

 **HUshipper: Are you really reading these again?**

 **Guest: I love watching them to see if they slip any touches in between... Might be obsessed.**

 **AceTheSquishy: It was a time period where everyone was posting Derillo and I was so fucking sick of it, oh my. So one of my friends told me to spoof it.**


	5. Memories Never End

**Author's Note (Monster): Hello, our lovelies!** **I'm trying to do more requests/chaptered fics but uni is killing me. I'd love to be more part of the fandom again though.** **Enjoy.**

 _ **I wrote this fic for HUShipper with the summary;**_

 _ **What if J-Dog wanted them to be honest in the Gravity music video?**_

* * *

I walked through the streets, looking down at the envelope that had "Hollywood Undead" written all over it. I smiled, camera following me from behind but my smile soon melted. Luckily, they didn't have to record my face. My expression had dropped entirely, almost slumping as I walked and looked at the cd.

"Jay? You ok?" Johnny called out. I looked up startled. "Yeah… Yeah, I'm fine. I just… I don't know. Never mind. You should do your part first. I'm not feeling so well."

"You sure?" Charlie asked but he was already grabbing a bottle, trying to figure out how to duct tape himself into it. Johnny raised an eyebrow at him and taped the bottles for him. Didn't we have crew members for that shit? Definitely on the fucking set of a music video!

I sighed, the camera crew already moving on to shoot their part and I put down our cd. For some reason, I never liked looking back at the past. We decided to do a music video about it, using all the old masks as well but it just didn't feel right.

It felt fake.

Two of us, walking together in the intro to symbolise how we started out – forgetting about the abomination that was Shady Jeff, honestly, what were we thinking? – but walking next to someone else didn't feel right.

It wasn't…

It wasn't Deuce. If we were going back to our roots and show the fans we hadn't forgotten where we came from, we had to include Deuce. Even if he had been the biggest dipshit for years now. I frowned. We should at least show his mask. Maybe we could show his mask at the end of the video?

The guys did a great job at shooting their parts, Danny's part especially. It was like he just couldn't look bad in a video or a picture. Even while making a face, he would still be adorable. All of us agreed but he hated it when we called him "adorable" because "a man is not adorable, Charlie. A man is manly as hell!".

Yeah sure, we all just went "Someone needs nap time". I'm kidding, we treated him like an angel because his voice proved his worth to us.

"Can we? Can we?" Funny Man asked, practically bouncing like an excited dog. Johnny stuck out his hand to the exit. "We can."

"What?" I asked, joining them. Johnny repeated his gesture. "We can finally go home. This day took forever!"

"I know, right? God, why was today so exhausting?" Charlie moaned.

"Because we tried shooting the intro?"

"Probably."

"Can we go get food? I'm hungry."

"BURGER KING PLEASE!"

"No! I wanna go to McDonalds!"

"Seriously? If you keep performing like today, you're gonna work there one day."

"FUCK YOU CHARLIE!"

I cleared my throat. "Hey guys?"

No one was listening, Da Kurlzz was still trying to beat Charlie up for his comment and Johnny was happily chatting away with both Funny Man and Danny on each side of him. I dropped my eyes, feeling foreign. Foreign in the band I co-founded. How strange.

"Guys?" I tried again.

Johnny turned around. "Yeah?"

"Why… Why are we excluding Deuce from the video?"

The five of them stared at me.

"What?"

"Why would you include Deuce in our video? He's not a part of this band anymore. He hasn't been for YEARS."

"I know but… Gravity is a music video where we show all of our really really old 2005 masks. Deuce was with us in 2005. Why don't we show his mask? I'm not asking to make him appear in the video. Just the mask."

"Just the mask?" Da Kurlzz asked. "You think Deuce would be like "Oh yeah, you can use my homemade mask for your music video to show the fans you remember me. Yeah, sure. I won't ask any money for it, credit for it or even ask to be in the video", he ranted, trying to imitate the nasal voice of the ex-singer but failing miserably, making him sound like a retarded jock. Well… same thing.

I cringed at it. "Why do you still think the worst of him? Maybe he's changed!"

"Good luck with it, Jay, but if you get Deuce to agree to giving his oldest mask to us for FREE and without his face in it, we'll put it in the video."

"You swear?"

"What?"

"If I can get him to agree to that, will you make his mask appear at the end to honour Swan Songs and Desperate Measures with him?"

"Honour?" Charlie chuckled. "Dude, what have you been smoking?"

"Promise me", I demanded, looking at each and every one of them. "Promise me you'll make his mask appear in the end if I can get it from him."

"You're serious", Johnny murmured. "Alright. We'll make it appear if you can get it but be careful, dude. You know he's a really good liar."

"I know", I replied. We continued our way to go get some food and the guys seemed to be happy again. I would get the mask from Deuce. He wouldn't object to some free advertising for 9Lives, right? Right? I didn't know. The guys finally agreed to Burger King as we were waiting for our food to get there. I took out my phone to find his Twitter. I frowned.

He was following me?

Back when we split, he didn't.

Why did he refollow me?

Fuck it, I'm texting him.

Jay: Hey, what u up to?

No reply for a while which seemed strange considering the man was married to his phone. It wasn't coming. I knew it wasn't. Deuce often just forgot to text back but in my case, he'd just ignore me. I had to call him if I wanted him to give me direct answers with no bullshit. Why did that make me nervous?

Our food arrived and I got up. "I'm not hungry", I said before walking away and leaving them stunned. I could hear Danny mutter an "Are you kidding me?"

I just walked homewards, taking out my phone and dialling the number I was trying to reach so desperately. I realized I was definitely overreacting but the guys always said that whenever I got passionate about something, I HAD to have it ASAP! Driven by impulse and passion.

"Pick up", I muttered, phone close to my face.

"Jay, the fuck do you want? I thought not texting you back was an obvious hint."

"Aron…" for some reason my words got stuck in my throat after hearing him. All of my arguments for him to lend us his mask. It all vanished. "I need to see you."

"What? Are you out of your…"

"Aron, please. I know you don't hate me. You're just sore but I know you still… see me as a friend."

"Why don't you play some violin with it?" he viciously replied. "But alright, if you wanna meet, fine. I can't promise I'll be nice but I'll try. Where and when?"

"Now? Do you still live in that apartment?"

"Yeah."

"Can I come over?"

"Uh yeah… Sure", his voice suddenly distant as he yelled "Yo Yuma, you gotta get out. I'm having a visitor. Just get lost for a while alright? I don't fucking know! A few hours? No, it's not a fucking hooker, you fucking… GOD!"

I chuckled, reaching the building and hanging up. I reached his level and knocked on the door, not knowing whether I had to smile or look guilty. A bit of both and it made me seem like a cougar.

The door opened, revealing a much older Aron than I remembered. I truly hadn't seen him in a long time. Not even in pictures. Somehow he seemed different. Same him, same face, same body but less… boney? His cheeks were fuller, arms bit more muscular and if I had seen him out in the streets, I wouldn't have recognised him.

"You gonna come in or what?"

I realised I had been staring at him and cleared my throat, stepping inside his place. It had changed a lot since I last got there. "You got older…", I embarrassingly said out loud. Deuce scoffed. "Thanks. So did you, idiot."

"You… You're not as skinny as I remember", I said, feeling like I could hit myself for losing the ability to think before opening my mouth. What the fuck was wrong with me?!

"Uh… Thanks? Anyway, why'd you wanna see me?"

I tried to clear my head, avoiding the subject for now. "Is Yuma your… boyfriend?"

"Housemate", Deuce corrected. "No boyfriend for me."

"In general or just saying you're single?"

"Why would you care?" he asked and I realised I sounded way too interested. "Sorry, I just… I can't believe you're standing in front of me again."

"Don't get sentimental now."

"Anyway, we've been shooting the music video for Gravity."

"So?"

"It's a video about going back to our roots. Memories, you know? We all show our oldest masks in it and I was wondering if… we could maybe… use yours? You are a part of our past. Whether we like it or not."

Deuce raised an eyebrow. "You wanna use my old mask in your music video?"

I sat upright on his couch, seemingly all about business when sitting like that as he took up a spot in front of me.

"Yeah, I think it would be… in both of our interests because you'd get some adverti-…"

"Jay. I don't need you guys to gain popularity."

I slumped my shoulders and stared at the carpeted floor. "So… you won't?"

"Won't give you my mask?"

"Yeah."

He rolled his eyes. "I will."

I whipped my head up. "What?"

"Yeah", he replied, smiling at me. Not grinning like I was a prey but smiling genuinely. What the fuck? "I like the idea of appearing in your video because I'm still a part of the past. Even if shit didn't go well, it still happened. We can't pretend it didn't."

I blinked, a feeling of déjà vu washing over me.

We can't pretend it didn't happen, Jay.

Then what, Deuce? You wanna be my fucking boyfriend?

No but…

I shook my head. "Yeah. What's the catch?"

"Nothing. What? Can't you believe me when I tell you I don't want anything in return for this one?"

"No, I just… Yeah actually", I replied with an apologetic smile. "It's been so long since you did anything nice for me."

"I could say the same", Deuce countered as he got up and walked to the kitchen. "You want something to drink?"

"Some water."

"Are you a fish? What happened to a beer?"

"Just water, Deuce."

"You never let me pressure you", he chuckled. "Why do you insist on calling me 'Deuce' here but on the phone, you kept saying 'Aron'?"

"I don't know", I replied. "I don't know a lot when it comes to you. How long did you send Yuma away?"

"A few hours."

"Did you think I'd stay that long?" I asked.

Deuce shrugged. "Feel free to. I'm not sending you away."

I was more confused than I had been when I felt the urge to call him. Why was he being so nice? So friendly? Better yet, so fucking charming? He was a real host, smiled at me, didn't seem to intend any malice.

He handed me the water and I eyed him suspiciously. "Is it really water?"

"Yeah!"

"You didn't poison it?"

He laughed. "No."

"Why are you being so nice?"

"Because I don't hate you. You said it yourself. I still see you as a friend."

"I don't get it."

Deuce shrugged, now sitting next to me on the couch as he leaned his head back. "I don't know how to hate you. I tried."

"What about all the hate you gave us?"

"I truly hate your band for doing that shit to me but I don't hate you. I like you."

"You like me?" I cooed but he looked back at me. "I always did."

A shiver ran up my spine.

I don't know what to do either. I just know I like you, ok? Don't make a big deal out of it. I just do. I don't want to be with you. I just like you. A lot.

"A-always? Like… always?"

He shook his head. "Yeah, I know what you're thinking. We were like twenty, Jay. Forget about what happened then. We live in the moment now."

"It's pretty hard to forget what happened."

"I know", he replied with a sigh, leaning back to the side and swinging his feet in my lap like he used to do when he was too lazy to ask me to move.

I stared at his feet. "Do you mind?"

He shook his head. "Not really."

"You never change, do you?"

"I get older. I'm less skinny than you remember", he mocked me with a smile and I could feel the air changing from exploring, nervous and unfamiliar to the same atmosphere we were used to when we were young and dumb. "Maybe it was stupid of me to say that but you truly changed in appearance."

"Thanks. You did too… a little."

I sighed. "I'm tempted to hug you. It's been way too long since we spent time together."

"Do it", he responded, propping himself up to look at me. "Why be shy now?"

"It would make things weird."

He leaned closer. "Jay, we've done way more than hugging so don't even pretend it makes things weird between us."

"Why'd you have to bring that up again."

"Because", he murmured. "I may regret a lot but not that."

"What?"

"Don't make me say it."

"Say it."

Deuce sighed. "I don't regre-…"

I pulled him closer into an embrace. "Quit talking. You're ruining it."

"Ruining what?"

"The moment. I kinda hate how you shot me down when we were young."

"I wouldn't… shoot you down now", he murmured before humming at me to get a response out of me. I rested my chin on his head, thinking about it but looking down at the sight of someone I used to know who hadn't changed one bit, something told me to just go with it. And I did.

I kissed him once more, something we had done a thousand times when we were younger but we were too stupid to take it seriously.

I didn't remember how long we stayed like that but it seemed to go on forever in my mind. Just us, in a loving embrace, just a few kisses, sharing small memories of the past and basking in the silence.

Until Yuma opened the door loudly. "Deuce, I'm ho-… I didn't know your visitor was Jay. About time you two got together."

Deuce scurried away from me, glaring at the guitarist. "Fuck you. He should get going soon."

I felt slightly disappointed but looking at the clock I stayed far longer than I expected to stay. He walked me to the door, silently and preserved. Almost like he was young again. Young, dumb, in love. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, stealing a kiss. "I didn't expect that tonight but I can't say I'm unhappy with it. I missed you. I missed you a lot."

"I'd never admit it but… I totally didn't miss you too", I scoffed, trying to play it cool but he smiled and sunk his face into my collar bone. "I wanna see you again soon."

"You will."

He let me go and I stepped back, making my way through the hallway, looking back at the door from the end. He waved at me and I waved back with a smile, making my way downstairs and into the streets. I felt great.

The guys would surely be home already, it was way too late. I just skipped dinner. I checked my phone, text messages peppering my screen. Great. The five of them were like mother hens sometimes. Danny's message told me they were at Charlie's place so I just walked there without reading any other message.

Charlie's door was unlocked and I walked in there like it was my own home. "Home!"

The guys looked up from the couch. "So?"

"What?"

"Did you get it?"

"Get what?"

"The mask?"

Oh… right. I totally forgot about the mask. "I forgot to take it with me…"

"Then what the fuck have you been doing for hours?"

I shrugged with a smile, raising my hands in an apology: "Fishing up old memories?"

* * *

 **Please Review, they're our heavy fuel!**


	6. Five Times Johnny Was Alone And

**This site doesn't allow me to fully write the title of this one-shot but the title is "Five Times Johnny Was Alone And The One Time He Wasn't"**

 **Author's Note (Monster): Hello, our lovelies! Since I am posting the AO3 gifts chronologically on here, it will most likely take a while before I reach the one I posted there yesterday. I wrote the longest one-shot I've ever done with its 20,405 words. If you can't wait until it comes on here, go check it out there. It's called Golden Beast. Enjoy!**

 **I wrote this fic for HUShipper with the summary;**

 **Anyone could've told Johnny he was a fool for sitting in the rain like that, clothes sticking to him like a second skin while his hair leaked droplets into his face as it stuck to his forehead.**  
 **Anyone could've told him but there was nobody there.**

 **5+1 story**

* * *

The first time, it was raining. No, raining would've been an understatement for the water that came pouring down in buckets, soaking whatever crossed its path or dared to peek outside. Anyone could've told Johnny he was a fool for sitting in the rain like that, clothes sticking to him like a second skin while his hair leaked droplets into his face as it stuck to his forehead.

Anyone could've told him but there was nobody there.

Johnny was alone and he had the feeling no one would ever join him there on the bench as he kicked pebbles towards the grass, red roses carefully placed onto it. God forbid he actually reached the grass. It would be shameless, no respect for anything that wasn't his own. Johnny scoffed to himself.

People were hypocrites.

He didn't want to be alone but the guys were too busy to even think of joining him. They didn't care enough. Not about him, not about anything to do with him. He sighed, the sound lost in the rain as it clattered onto stone, wood and the loudest of all, plastic. There must've been a shed somewhere nearby with a plastic rooftop.

Johnny gazed at the evening sky, the clouds shielding the blue from him in a thick grey mass of fluff but he could see the sun trying to fight its way through. It was slowly setting. It would be dark soon. The rapper shrugged to himself, convincing himself that no one would notice if he were to stay where he was. It seemed more… appealing to stay there. The guys would only fight, fight, fight.

He could live without that fact for now but unfortunately as he was staring at the grass, staring at someone's property and trying to avoid the thoughts that came with it, his phone made a sound. Guess the guys did care about his whereabouts after all.

Though when he looked at the screen of his phone, he felt a wave of disappointment crash over him. It was Asia, wishing him good luck on the tour they were leaving on that evening. Right, the tour. How could he have forgotten? Three months with the guys and he could only hope they wouldn't kill each other in the process.

* * *

The second time, was after their three months of touring together. Miraculously, they hadn't killed each other but they hadn't managed to come home unharmed. A few words of hatred were exchanged and Johnny wasn't sure how much longer he could keep the band from falling apart.

Chances were there would not be another album.

As he finally sat down again on his bench, staring at the green grass in front of him, it wasn't raining today. There were red roses on top of the grass once again. Who would leave red roses in his usual spot? Today was a sunny day which seemed to be in contrast with what he had endured those past few months. He leaned his elbows on his knees and rubbed his eyes tiredly. The days were getting tougher to survive since the tour had begun, no scratch that, since he had been coming to that bench to give his conscious a rest. It only seemed to nag at him for being at home, enjoying his life while they weren't doing fine.

It was hard enough to explain to the fans that Five stood for "fifth album" and wasn't meant to celebrate Da Kurlzz' departure. Somehow, they thought the number five stood for the amount of band members while that happened to be a happy coincidence. Or unhappy coincidence?

Yet they noticed something was off about them. There were only four of them. Where was their fifth member? Johnny could barely look them in the eye, stuttering he was sick or something but he wasn't.

Their fans weren't stupid. Not like those retarded fans who would buy thousand dollar tickets to see the artist. Who charges a thousand dollar for concert tickets?

Who the fuck even bought those? Anyway, their fans weren't buying any bullshit from them about the sick story. That excuse kept biting them in the ass as well since they never showed up as a five piece anymore, always someone missing during concerts, interviews, arrivals, signings. They knew the guys had lost their marbles and their fifth member, continuing as a four piece. Fans were angry but this time, they hadn't kicked him out.

He had kicked them by leaving.

* * *

The third time, Johnny just had to get away from it all, sitting on the ever-the-same bench while leaves were scattered around him. It was spring so the leaves were small, pink petals, meant to look romantic but it was no place for romance.

One could say Johnny lost his mind that day, talking to himself like an idiot but there was no one there.

He was all alone so who could've noticed his monologues?

"How can I keep these idiots together? They don't care about each other. They're all just hurt by the betrayal. The bastard left us. How selfish", Johnny cussed, muttering under his breath as he clenched his jaw in time with his fists. He dug his feet into the dirt, staring at the green grass, roses in place, that seemed more vivid than ever now that it was spring, the season of newborn life.

He chuckled to himself, mocking the name the season had, because to him, it didn't feel like a new beginning, like a new life. He was still living the crap life he always had, only it had all gone to hell in these past few months. He seemed to be coming there a lot, each time looking more dishevelled than the time before that.

Even his wife couldn't seem to take it anymore but she kept her mouth shut wisely as she didn't want to push him away any further. Maybe she wasn't even pushing.

Maybe Johnny was the one pushing himself off or maybe said fifth lost member was pulling him back, dragging him through the dirt and sand as he strode away from the guys with a "goodbye" sign in hand. Since when was he a cartoon to mock global matters in the newspaper?

He would've laughed if he had the strength to but things just weren't funny anymore. He felt torn and he couldn't hide it. He felt defeated that no one wished to join him on his journey to the green grass and the bundle of roses and the bench and the pebbles and the pink petals.

He sighed. And the grave.

* * *

The fourth time, was hell on Earth for the blue masked rapper. Not only were they falling apart but the news of their dead fifth member leaked and the fans were furious they didn't tell them.

What was left to tell them? He died. Talking about it won't bring him back, although he considered talking about it would be a good way for the guys to deal with the pain. Take a step towards healing or whatever crap they believed in in one of those mourning sessions. That was what they were called, right?

One of those sessions where the people just kept talking about a dead friend, beloved or relative? Johnny thought it was. He couldn't bring himself to sit on the bench like he had all those times before. Instead, he settled for pacing back and forth in front of the tombstone, growling at himself. "Are you happy now?"

Of course the stone wouldn't tell him much except for the name and lifespan with the date of birth and date of passing. There were red roses carefully placed at the bottom of the stone. He wondered who left them there all these days. Who bothered to bring him roses? He rolled his eyes as if it had given him a snarky reply. "I hate you."

He did hate him. He hated him for dying, for making them fall apart, for leaving them with album without him, for putting them in trouble on social media. For abandoning his friends.

"You couldn't have just… jumped out of the way? No adrenaline in that brain of yours?"

He knew it was futile to rage at a grave but he was damn persistent to do so. Let it all out so he could return to the guys and offer them calm guidance in between hopelessness and rage. Someone had to do it and they didn't seem to plan on comforting each other anytime soon. If he wanted Hollywood Undead to keep existing, he had to save it as well.

The worst case had been Charlie.

He wasn't very good at dealing with deaths. He never was but he'd usually shrug it off with a joke to hide the pain. Now he wouldn't even do that. They'd find him sulking by himself, fleeing whatever company he had. Shut the world out.

When he wouldn't, he would fight them and since most of them had been dealing with it in anger, it didn't take much for them to try to kill each other. All for this man who died. All for this guy who decided that jumping in front of the train they'd been waiting for all hour, was a great way to die.

* * *

The fifth time, Johnny felt obliged to go sit on that bench and guiltily look at the grave before he could muster the courage to say something. He hadn't been fair last time he was there. Johnny knew his friend had been miserable for a while and he knew he had wanted to die a few times already but Johnny was just so angry about the way he did it.

He wanted to know why! Johnny let his head fall into his hands, desperation taking over. "Why'd you do it like that? Did you want to scar us?"

No, probably not. He'd always liked symbolism so maybe it was supposed to say "let me die. You can't do anything to save me."

Maybe but he wasn't sure and since his friend was dead, he didn't want to assume anything anymore. Not since he hadn't even known he walked around with those thoughts in his head once again. None of them ever even noticed.

Johnny's way of dealing with it, was slowly working. He managed to keep himself in check while offering solace whenever he could. The guys were opening up to him about it, talking about the horrifying details haunting them at night. He couldn't say he hadn't had the same nightmares.

Blood, limbs, staring eyes…

Why had they even bothered to check if he was still alive while the ambulance was coming their way? They should've known no human could survive the impact. Maybe if they hadn't witnessed it, they wouldn't have as much trouble dealing with the whole thing. Or maybe they wouldn't have been able to accept it either?

Luckily the uproar of fans slowly died down and they all ended up being supportive but it wasn't enough. They needed each other more than ever but somehow Johnny was the only one holding them together and it would stay that way until they finally got a hold on themselves.

"You really screwed us over. I'm sorry we didn't see your pain", Johnny sighed, more to himself than he was talking to him. The grave of his friend seemed larger than before, more confronting. "I wish you could tell us why you did it but you can't, can you?"

Johnny smiled sadly at the grass and the tombstone in between the patches of green surrounded by more graves. It was the fifth time there were roses placed at the tombstone. "I miss you, Jay, we all miss you."

But of course, J-Dog was unable to reply to his sad words.

* * *

The sixth time, Johnny was fed up with being there alone while none of the others cared for coming along with him to Jay's grave.

They'd been his best friends for fuck's sake. Johnny was ready to scold them but Danny kept him from ranting. "Can't you see, Johnny? We're not ready. You may find peace in seeing him like that but we don't. For us, seeing the tombstone makes it final. We don't want it to be final just yet. Give us some more time to heal. I don't want us to fall apart because we forced ourselves to cope with it too soon", the singer had requested and Johnny appreciated the honesty more than he thought he would.

After glancing at the other two, he could only sigh and agree to go alone once more. Maybe next time he wouldn't be alone but as he made his way through the path in between the grass, he could see he wasn't the first to sit down on the bench today. Someone beat him to it and it made him happy, even willing to run towards the one at Jay's grave but inching closer made him stop dead in his tracks.

Why was he here?

"The fuck are you doing here?!" Johnny yelled, causing the man to slightly jump, yanked away from his thoughts. He shrugged, looking almost guilty. "Ask for forgiveness?"

Johnny's hostile attitude dissolved into confusion as he stared. "For what?"

"Mentally wishing he was dead", the shorter man confessed, weak smile in place. "I wanted to believe I hated him so bad but I never did. I've always loved him. No matter what."

Johnny raised an eyebrow.

"I don't expect you to believe me. I'll just go and come back when you're not here. I bet you want some alone time."

Johnny blinked. "No, Aron, stay."

Deuce whipped his head up, looking at the older man. "You want me to stay?"

"I've been here alone for too long with Jay. He deserves more friends around him."

"What about the others? Don't they care?" he asked.

Johnny shrugged. "They do. They're just not ready."

"I can imagine", Deuce murmured.

The blue masked rapper sighed, sitting down on the bench next to his old rival like they were old friend sharing a beer. He looked down, remembering a flash of red he had seen the former singer carry and glanced to his side, a bundle of red roses. He smiled at the discovery. He was the one who had left Jay red roses all this time.

He leaned back and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply as he realized he wasn't alone today.

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 **Please Review, they're our heavy fuel!**


	7. Why Didn't We Know

**Author's Note (Monster): Hello. I posted an update on AO3 so I figured I'd post another gift on here.**

 **I gifted this fic to GimmeYourFood with the summary: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result**

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Funny Man divided the cards between the four of them, carefully peeking at what he got when he played his turn. Both Johnny and Danny seemed displeased with his move as he blocked their plans to win.

Playing cards with the Mexican was asking for it. He was the best. Funny Man looked at Charlie who seemed absent. He wasn't paying attention, just staring at his best friend with big eyes like he was deep in thoughts.

"Dude, if you didn't want to play cards, you should've said so", Funny Man scoffed.

The bandana rapper only stared at them and Danny sighed. "Can I just go? I don't think Charlie wants to play."

Charlie didn't even object when Danny made his move and Johnny groaned. "Why'd you have to do that?!"

Funny Man frowned at his best friend who didn't want to play cards with them. He only received a stare from those icy blue eyes. "Did anyone notice before that Charlie has blue eyes?"

"What? No way", Danny said surprised, raising his voice. "I thought they were brown!"

"No, they're blue. Really light blue. Icy blue even", Funny Man murmured.

Johnny leaned over the table to look at Charlie's eyes while Funny Man shielded his cards from him. The blue masked rapper made an annoyed sound. "I'm not interested in your cards. I think Charlie's eyes are more of an ocean blue."

"No, no, they're icy blue", Funny Man smiled at Charlie who remained silent, still thinking. What was he thinking about?

Danny looked at his face as well and nodded in approval. "Icy blue. I agree with Funny on this one."

"You always agree with Funny!" Johnny complained.

The Mexican smiled at both his friends. "Of course, he agrees with me. I'm right."

"I thought Charlie had brown eyes", Danny murmured. "Brown hair, brown eyes type."

"Most people with brown hair have brown eyes. Just like how people associate blondes with blue eyes", Johnny replied.

Danny beamed. "I have brown-green eyes with blonde hair!"

"Your blonde is fake", Funny Man popped his bubble and Danny frowned, seeming to remember. "Oh right."

"I think your eyes are hazel", Johnny said humming, finally playing his turn. Funny Man didn't wait to play his and passed it onto Danny. The singer cocked his head. "I think so too but why didn't we know Charlie's eyes are blue?"

"No idea."

"Did we not pay attention to his eyes before?" Danny asked. "I mean. Probably because he always wears shades but still. Why didn't we know that?"

"Maybe he's just not fond of eye contact?" Funny Man asked, looking at Charlie for confirmation but he still seemed so lost in his own mind. What was wrong with their friend anyway? Why was he so lost in thoughts, so absent, so silent?

Danny rolled his eyes. "He's been making eye contact all night so why would he be shy about it before?"

As soon as the question left his mouth, he realized he had made a mistake but it was too late to suck the question back in. Instead the question remained in the air, making the atmosphere thick with tension. No one replied.

Maybe for the better.

Danny played a card, giving Charlie a quick onceover. "He's been silent all day."

"I know. I think he's ill."

"Lost his voice maybe?"

"No, he'd still move around."

"Right", Johnny replied, playing his card next. He glanced at Charlie as well and cocked his head. "Did you notice how he has these chubby cheeks but he's not at all overweight?"

"Yeah! What the hell! I noticed that too. Charlie's got a normal figure but he's got these chubby cheeks making him look a bit bigger", Danny called out. Funny Man smiled at them. "Yeah, Charlie never lost the baby fat. Did you, buddy?"

Charlie's gaze seemed to disapprove but he said nothing, did nothing. Just like he had all day.

"Did anyone notice Charlie barely walks around without a snapback?"

"Yes! I was just about to say that!" Funny Man shouted back at Danny.

J-Dog entered, freezing on the spot when he saw them sitting at the table, playing cards. All feeling of cosiness seemed to be sucked out of the room, leaving a cold scenery. Funny Man waved him over with a smile plastered on his lips. There was something wicked about that smile, something wrong but when he squinted his eyes, he noticed the Mexican's eyes were wide and hollow. Begging Jay desperately. Begging him to what?

He skimmed the four, eyes landing on Charlie. Something was off about the scene but he couldn't tell what it was. He stepped towards the man and felt darkness creep over him as he realized just what was off. He looked at the three of them who wore those identical wicked smiled and begging eyes.

"Please don't", they seemed to beg him.

J-Dog stared at the cards in front of Charlie and picked them up. He pulled up a chair alongside them and played his turn, smiling identically back at them.

Charlie was slumped on the chair, icy blue eyes staring forward, lips slightly parted, snapback hanging low to conceal the dead in his eyes.

Jay frowned, a slight quiver as he did so: "Did anyone notice before that Charlie has blue eyes?"

"What? No way", Danny said surprised but his voice didn't sound right; almost too broken. "I thought his eyes were brown!"

"No, they're blue. A really light blue. Icy blue", Funny Man murmured, wide eyes staring at the cards.

Johnny leaned over the table, trembling lips as his arms almost gave in to his weight from taking the position on too many times already. "I think it's more of an ocean blue", he whispered, voice breaking in the middle.

"No, no, they're icy blue", Jay sighed, eyes begging someone to come save them from this madness.

Danny blinked, a cold stare at the table. "Why didn't we know?"

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 **Please Review, they're our heavy fuel. For those who don't quite follow what happened; Charlie is dead but playing cards is easier than facing that fact so they all relive the same conversation over and over, hoping to magically see Charlie alive once again. The final sentence "Why didn't we know" refers to "Why didn't we know he'd die like this?" since it refers to the cold, dead stare of his icy blue eyes.**


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